i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
