I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
