$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
