At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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