you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
