Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
