best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
