It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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