I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
My hand turned me down
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize