Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
