i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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