If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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