Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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