i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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