Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
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