puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
