It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
