she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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