Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
