i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
