We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
babies were throwing up all over the place
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
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