Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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