I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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