Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
