i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize