IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
