Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
