4 words: hood of his car
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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