Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
