I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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