Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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