Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize