Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different

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(937): I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different http://tfl.nu/6y7e

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(616): View more from Michigan

this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.

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(616): this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line. http://tfl.nu/kz2e

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.

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(610): The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/0qxf

Replies (19) Good night (2709) Bad night (5651)
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(407): View more from Florida

we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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(407): we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her http://tfl.nu/n8un

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.

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(414): Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch. http://tfl.nu/js8y

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(802): View more from Vermont

What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"

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(802): What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow" http://tfl.nu/01bq

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(937): View more from Ohio

Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.

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(937): Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it. http://tfl.nu/m5np

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(443): View more from Maryland

the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.

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(443): the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/g4cn

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center

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(413): And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center http://tfl.nu/rfee

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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(715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn

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(678): View more from Georgia

Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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(678): Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask. http://tfl.nu/uqhe

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(971): View more from Oregon

I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.

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(971): I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up. http://tfl.nu/s3lx

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(714): View more from California

I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.

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(714): I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5. http://tfl.nu/iwbe

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(309): View more from Illinois

I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.

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(309): I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to. http://tfl.nu/ueue

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(540): View more from Virginia

I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal

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(540): I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal http://tfl.nu/b5ht

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