you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.