I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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