My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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