I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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