i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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