I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize