I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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