you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
