8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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