Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
