Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
