He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
