i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
