More tranny stories later!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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