...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
