so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my liver is dry heaving
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
