Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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