take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
