I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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