I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
