I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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