just come out here and I will go home with you...
one might say we're banned from that church
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
