i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
