tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
