big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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