I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
