the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
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I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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