The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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